Photo by Eli
Maybe behind every prompting, every command that seems too difficult to do lies the Heart that knows that we do not always realize what we really desire. Those desires only get revealed after taking the step of obedience.
Like, God tells us to forgive. Forgiveness is difficult for most people, as it often involves wounds that are not shallow at all. And it involves people that we consider(ed) very dear to us, people we allow(ed) ourselves to be vulnerable to. People we love(d). But through the hard wall of the cold, avenging and seemingly numb heart lies a crying child. And indeed the wall was made to conceal this fragile, vulnerable child. The child mourns and yearns for everything to be right again. The child yearns for reconciliation. The child wishes to start over.
Then here goes God, telling us to forgive. And we go, “Well, God, surely You saw what this person did to me.”
And then God says, “You’re so mad at the person, I see.”
Then He goes on and says, “But why are tears falling down your face?” We hear Him say it again. “Forgive.”
Then we come up with excuses like we don’t care anymore (in other words, I’m apathetic to it anymore), etc. But are we really happy? Does apathy actually solve it? In our hearts, we know it never did and it never will. Where do we run to now?
And suddenly, the realization that God knows us more than we know ourselves comes. He made us, after all.
Sometimes I think God is the most understood One in this world.
“O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.” (Psalm 139:1–2, NLT)
This blogpost isn’t supposed to talk about forgiveness (see the very first sentence) but it supports the point, right? Haha. Please tell me it does.